In which I shock you with the news that I’m not skinny

Here’s the thing: I don’t own, nor will I ever own, a pair of skinny jeans. Same goes for skinny pants in any style whatsoever, including the latest skinny thing that is haunting my life – skinny capris.

I love love love wearing capris and cropped pants in the summer. They’re usually pretty comfortable, you know? Breezy, even. But for some reason, this season the only kind that seems to be on the racks in all of my favorite stores are skinny – with no other options. Oh wait – I’m wrong. Skinny with horrid patterns on them is a popular choice too.

I AM NOT SKINNY. I am not saying this because I want you to jump in and say that I am. I AM NOT. I have an ass and more importantly, hips, and although my weight is perfectly fine for my height, in no world would I look OK in skinny-style pants. Believe me, I’ve tried. Not pretty. Not cute. Not happening. For example, I would look like a giant idiot in these from Gap:

gap pants

I mean, pants like these are cute on some, but where is the room for the thighs? The hips? WHAT ABOUT THE HIPS?!?!

But I have good news! Ann Taylor Loft saved me and my non-skinny ass. Behold, my new favorite pants for the summer:

loft pants

 

Do you see how lovely they are? And summery looking? And not stuck like to the model’s legs like second skin? I’ve already bought two pair and have hinted heavily to Greg that a gift certificate to the Loft might be just the perfect gift for Mother’s Day. They are the perfect summer pants for super-casual me.

And that’s the skinny on that.

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One response to “In which I shock you with the news that I’m not skinny

  1. I’m late to comment here, but I will say two things:
    1.) NO ONE, not even Anorexic Annie up there looks good in high-vis yellow skinny jeans. 2.) My sister will love these, I will tell her about them and she will thank you.

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